19 November 2013

Tuesday's tales ~ Loose



Welcome to Tuesday's Tales  

 
Once again, many thanks to all those who drop by each week. I also appreciate, and often act upon comments and suggestions left.  Many thanks.
 
This week I have jumped forward quite a bit and am now in the hero's -Joshua's- POV

“What’s on your mind, Josh?”

No way to say it other than straight out, Josh decided. “Do you believe you can find Mandy after all this time? Aren’t you at a stage where you’re simply chasing windmills?”

“Is that what you’re really asking, or are you wondering whether I’m racking up your parents’ bill for my own benefit?” The reply was as straight up as his question, so why did resentment curl in his gut?

He had wondered that, once upon a time, but not now. He’d spent two weeks last year working beside the guy, seen his dedication to the search, witnessed his frustration when he discovered a lead had died or been a wild goose chase. “No I don’t think that, and I’m sorry the thought even crossed your mind.” Josh stepped back held the P.I.’s gaze, “But what will Shawn unearth that you’ve failed to?”

“I don’t know. But there’s always a chance something will turn up. For instant, look at that woman over there…” He pulled out a digital profile of what the professionals thought Mandy would look like now and then pointed to a woman throwing hoops in the hope of winning the giant purple teddy bear. “For all we know she could be married with kids of her own by now. It’s a reasonable assumption.”

Why had the thought that if she survived, Mandy could be married never entered his mind? And why did it disturb him so much? Josh looked over at the stall where the faint tinkle of laughter carried on the warm air and wondered if it was hers. Something about her raised the hairs on the back of his neck. A finger of breeze caught a loose strand of her hair and flipped it across her face.

“From the back she could be a dead ringer for that photo.” Josh tapped the sheet in the P.I’s hand. “What are you going to do?”

Together they watched the woman shake her head, laugh, and then turn away from the stall.

“I think it’s time I tried my hand at a few of those stands,” he said and sauntered off.

Josh followed, keeping his distance. He wanted to see the woman’s face. So far he’d seen her back and her profile, but the prickling sensation on his neck had him inching closer. He cast a glance over his shoulder towards the tea-tent and saw his father studying him through narrowed eyes. Their gazes locked before Josh saw the slightest nod. His father had seen the woman too and was watching for the outcome. Joshua just hoped his mother hadn’t been so observant.
 
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18 comments:

Lindsay said...

Great building of tension going on here.

V.L. Locey said...

Ooo, wonderful job of building tension.

Karen Cino said...

I agree with Lindsay and V.L. You did an amazing job in building up the tension.

SherryGLoag said...

:-) Thank Lindsay

SherryGLoag said...

Glad this works for you Vicki, this is my NaNo project, too.

SherryGLoag said...

Awe, thanks for your kind words, Karen.

Sarah Cass said...

The tension you're building is palpable. I've got my own twist in my gut wondering if it's her.

SherryGLoag said...

Oh wow, Sarah :-) Thank you for your reaction.

Jean Joachim said...

You've left us hanging!!!! Damn! Now I've got to know if it's her. And the way you've built the tension is superb, subtle but growing. Excellent piece. Love this story.

SherryGLoag said...

:-) Thanks Jean.

Jillian said...

well done- I agree about the tension building. I love that this is your NaNo story

Iris B said...

Well done. Hopefully we'll find out soon whether it's her.

morgan said...

Can't wait to see her face. Excellent.

writerszenblog said...

I agree with everyone else about the great job on building the tension. I was reading away and didn't even notice until we got to the end & I realized I'm just about at the edge of my seat waiting to find out .... and then you leave us hanging!

SherryGLoag said...

:-) writerszenblog and you're going to have to wait until after the TT revisit week for more! Thanks for coming by.

SherryGLoag said...

LOL Morgan, your comment gave me pause for thought and I'm wondering now whether to create a tease scene or not!! rofl.

SherryGLoag said...

Thanks for coming by, Iris. I've yet to write the next scene!

SherryGLoag said...

Thanks Jillian. :-)