Welcome to Tuesday's Tales
Once again, many thanks to all those who drop by each week. I also appreciate, and often act upon comments and suggestions left. Many thanks.
This week I have jumped forward quite a bit and am now in the hero's -Joshua's- POV
“What’s
on your mind, Josh?”
No
way to say it other than straight out, Josh decided. “Do you believe you can
find Mandy after all this time? Aren’t you at a stage where you’re simply
chasing windmills?”
“Is
that what you’re really asking, or are you wondering whether I’m racking up
your parents’ bill for my own benefit?” The reply was as straight up as his
question, so why did resentment curl in his gut?
He
had wondered that, once upon a time, but not now. He’d spent two weeks last
year working beside the guy, seen his dedication to the search, witnessed his
frustration when he discovered a lead had died or been a wild goose chase. “No
I don’t think that, and I’m sorry the thought even crossed your mind.” Josh
stepped back held the P.I.’s gaze, “But what will Shawn unearth that you’ve
failed to?”
“I
don’t know. But there’s always a chance something will turn up. For instant,
look at that woman over there…” He pulled out a digital profile of what the
professionals thought Mandy would look like now and then pointed to a woman
throwing hoops in the hope of winning the giant purple teddy bear. “For all we
know she could be married with kids of her own by now. It’s a reasonable
assumption.”
Why
had the thought that if she survived, Mandy could be married never entered his
mind? And why did it disturb him so much? Josh looked over at the
stall where the faint tinkle of laughter carried on the warm air and wondered
if it was hers. Something about her raised the hairs on the back of his neck. A
finger of breeze caught a loose strand of her hair and flipped it across her
face.
“From
the back she could be a dead ringer for that photo.” Josh tapped the sheet in
the P.I’s hand. “What are you going to do?”
Together
they watched the woman shake her head, laugh, and then turn away from the
stall.
“I
think it’s time I tried my hand at a few of those stands,” he said and
sauntered off.
Josh
followed, keeping his distance. He wanted to see the woman’s face. So far he’d
seen her back and her profile, but the prickling sensation on his neck had him
inching closer. He cast a glance over his shoulder towards the tea-tent and saw
his father studying him through narrowed eyes. Their gazes locked before Josh
saw the slightest nod. His father had seen the woman too and was watching for
the outcome. Joshua just hoped his mother hadn’t been so observant.
18 comments:
Great building of tension going on here.
Ooo, wonderful job of building tension.
I agree with Lindsay and V.L. You did an amazing job in building up the tension.
:-) Thank Lindsay
Glad this works for you Vicki, this is my NaNo project, too.
Awe, thanks for your kind words, Karen.
The tension you're building is palpable. I've got my own twist in my gut wondering if it's her.
Oh wow, Sarah :-) Thank you for your reaction.
You've left us hanging!!!! Damn! Now I've got to know if it's her. And the way you've built the tension is superb, subtle but growing. Excellent piece. Love this story.
:-) Thanks Jean.
well done- I agree about the tension building. I love that this is your NaNo story
Well done. Hopefully we'll find out soon whether it's her.
Can't wait to see her face. Excellent.
I agree with everyone else about the great job on building the tension. I was reading away and didn't even notice until we got to the end & I realized I'm just about at the edge of my seat waiting to find out .... and then you leave us hanging!
:-) writerszenblog and you're going to have to wait until after the TT revisit week for more! Thanks for coming by.
LOL Morgan, your comment gave me pause for thought and I'm wondering now whether to create a tease scene or not!! rofl.
Thanks for coming by, Iris. I've yet to write the next scene!
Thanks Jillian. :-)
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