Working to this week's Tuesday's Tales prompt of 'Spider,' I am continuing with a short snippet from another piece of my current WIP
She shouldn’t have walked out in a temper like that. Ha! When did she ever listen to good advice? Even when it was her own advice?
She’d taken her tantrum, for that was what it was, out on her loving parents. Said some unforgivable things to them, and rushed from the house without a cardigan, let alone a jacket. It wasn’t their fault her boyfriend had changed his allegiance so abruptly.
She studied the rain running down the cave walls;
well, hardly a cave, more like a scrape in the rocky hillside, and wondered when
the rain would stop. Wondered when the
throbbing pain in her twisted ankle would subside enough for her to retrace her
steps back home.
Her parents would ground her for a week. And who
could blame them? She’d been devastated after Tyler dumped her in favour of the
newest recruit in the ‘meals-on-wheels’ team.
No not those members of the Women’s Guild, or
whatever they were, that went out delivering meals to the needy folk who couldn’t
get about any more. No, their teachers
had signed them up for work experience helping volunteers deliver meals to
patients in hospital.
A movement in the cave entrance caught her
attention. A spider scurried round its
web every time a rain drop landed on it. Poor spider, she thought, fooled by
the rain, just the same way she’d been fooled by Tyler.
Perhaps he’d come looking for her. Her heart
thudded in anticipation then resettled at its normal pace. Of course he wouldn’t. Why would he tell her parents he wanted to
speak to her? The newbie, what was her
name… Rachel, had made a point of telling her Tyler asked her to pass on his
message…
The scumbag couldn’t even tell her to her face he
was dumping her. Well thanks to the
industrious spider, which had extended its web almost across the whole entrance
of her shelter, anyone passing by could be forgiven for thinking there’d be no
one beyond the web and not take time out to search the area.
Perversely she welcomed the seclusion, but as the
rain continued to fall and water seeped over the floor and ran in rivulets
around where she sat, her stubbornness melted into anxiety
Who, she wondered, using anger to try and force
her rising fear away, had killed a spider?
Didn’t they know that if you killed a spider it would rain? Whoever it was must have killed millions of
them, the rain was falling so hard now she couldn’t see past the wall of water beyond
the cave entrance.
Please visit the rest of this week's Tuesday's Tales
24 comments:
I didn't know it was bad luck to kill a spider! I always refused to kill them simply because I knew their thousands of brothers and sisters would come after me in my sleep. I still think so. :D
I feel bad for the heroine! :'( She's in that hard place of grief, sadness, and anger. :(
I love the way you weave the spider into the story, the spider fooled by the rain into thinking there was prey in her web. Like Tyler fooled her. This is a beautiful piece. I can feel her anger and pain and wonder what's going to happen next. Hope this continues. I'd like to see Tyler get his just desserts. Love your writing.
Love the analogy of the spider to her situation. Very nice. I hope that Tyler gets what's coming to him for being such an idiotic jerk.
I really enjoyed this, Sherry. You've created something deep and beautiful from this simple spider. I can truly feel her emotions.
Well done! You`ve got something really grand here.
Thanks for coming by Fiona, and welcome to the TT group,
I appreciate your comments, and find it fascinating how myths ans superstitions change around the world.
:-) Jean, I'm delighted you enjoyed this, and yes, this one will expand, not sure how but do know in which direction - if that makes sense. Thanks for your kind words.
Thanks Sarah, if this works to the vague plan I have there are a few unexpected twists to come yet. Thanks for your comment. :-)
Ae, thanks hon. You know how much I value your opinion. I'm glad it works for you.
Thanks, Vicki, I'm glad you enjoyed this. :-)
love how the cave and rain echo her feelings
:-) Thanks Kathleen.
I love the way you use the rain and spider to equate to her problem.
:-) Thanks Lindsay
I love how you use this word prompt to electrify the plot. Great job.
I love how she uses the analogy of the spider to mirror how she feels. I also like how as the story goes on her anxiety rises that she could be in real trouble. Great job!
Sherry I absolutely love this. I can't wait to read more. You weaved this story as a spider weaves its web, superbly.
I'm just hoping that Rachel is a serious teenage b%@#^ and that Tylor didn't dump her at all - all a misunderstanding!
As for taking the tantrum out on her parents - well if that aint real life ... LOL. It sounds familiar anyway :-)
Loved it, Sherry.
I enjoyed the comparison between the spider, its' web, and her situation. nicely done
:-) Thanks Karen
:-) Thanks Tricia, glad it works for you.
Oh, Tai, thank you for your kind words, they are so appreciated.
Iris, :-) LOL and I'm not telling! Thanks for your comments, you had me lauging, I share your views!!
Thanks for coming by.
:-) Thanks Davee, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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